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  • Rosemary Pharo

Don't take yourself for granted...


Have you ever thought that everything you have learnt is wrong? Or rather that the assumptions that we make about life and about ourselves might just be a little out of date. Isn’t it a good thing, every so often to examine what you really do believe and think. Mindset coaching is becoming very popular in groups and books for the very reason that the thoughts which we have labelled as our own generally are ones which we have compiled from everything that influenced us from the groups into which we needed to fit, once up a time, but now no longer need to.

All of us are a product of the groups to which we belong, our own individual matrices if you like. Within this groups, we all tend to fit into group roles. I’m sure that if you sit down and think of your friends or your family you will be able to label the kind of role you fulfil in them. Maybe you’re the reliable one, the child, the parent, the law-giver, the servant, playing different roles or archetypes in different groups.

The value of mindset coaching is you can consciously re-examine the set of beliefs and attitudes and degree of resilience, confidence and self-belief your carefully crafted persona currently grants itself. Especially when the ‘fit in’ model is at odds with what you believe deep down.

Is it time to stop being a square peg in a round hole, or even a starry peg in a square hole? It’s not comfortable having a mismatch between your natural, deep sense of what you are and what you can do and the roles you take on to be part of a social group.

Articles are fond of quoting the idea that as toddlers, we are all geniuses. “Every child is a genius according to the original meanings of the word “genius,” which are: “to give birth” (related to the word genesis) and “to be zestful or joyous,” (related to the word genial). Essentially, the real meaning of genius is to “give birth to the joy” that is within each child. Every child is born with that capacity. Each child comes into life with wonder, curiosity, awe, spontaneity, vitality, flexibility, and many other characteristics of a joyous being. An infant has twice as many brain connections as an adult.” So says Thomas Armstrong PhD.

Is that something you would love to get back to? To let the rivers of natural creativity run freely again, tapping into the mind’s instinctive inner forces to create and recreate your mindset and mindspace, just as you did as a toddler.

To do this, involves questioning every assumption you have about the map of the world you have created. Once upon a time, only a few people challenged their allotted roles and life paths. Today, there is a dawning realisation that this is something open to everyone. This does not make it an easy option, but one which may require a good dose of bravery and a willingness to forego the initial approval of our nearest and dearest.

What a world this could be if we all got close to living congruently with our deepest selves. Just imagine it now.

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